Tuesday, July 2, 2013

On Being a Toddler

My name is Lainey and I am a toddler.


I love to get into everything and it seems just when I am having the most fun, all focused and quiet, someone four times my size swoops in from above and takes something away!  I'm not sure why; I am only copying what the grown ups around me do.  Nail polish.  Nail clippers.  Make up.  Scissors.  Computer. TV controllers.  Hair product.  Deodorant.  Perfume. Hot glue gun.  Dials on the dish washer.  No one dashes in to take these items away from them!

I talk a lot.  And my mom repeats me a lot.  I like to say, "No no no!  Lainey do it!"  My mom usually repeats me with, "I want to do it, please." Huh? If she wants to do it, she should just do it! I like to do things on my own and I don't get what the problem is.  I don't see anyone wiping my mama's hands after she eats or wiping her snot, telling her to "blow" a gazillion times.  And what's with the oven?  I know it's hot - that's why I open the door carefully! Don't even try to tell me to cook in my kitchen.  Please.  I'm no dummy.  I know it's pretend.  Sometimes pretending will do, but when I want to eat I want to eat real food, not that plastic play food.

And if we are going to pretend, why not go all the way.  Really??!!  They give me plastic food and expect me to hold it inches from my mouth?  C'mon.  It's way more real to put toys and play-doh and anything else in my  mouth.

Who do they think they're fooling with all these pretend toys, anyway?  A pink kitchen? A laptop with a penguin on the keyboard?  And Elmo on the other end of the phone?  Yeah, right.  But it works, because I love to pretend.  Sometimes I act so real in my pretending, my mom believes me.  She gets so serious about my games. In fact, yesterday, she let me buy my book from her with her money.  Silly Mama.

I find that the cuter I am when I ask for things, the higher my chances of getting it.  For example, it's 9:15 AM and I am eating a popsicle outside because I asked in this cute voice and tried really hard to say "pop - scic - cle" and point to the freezer. Sucker.

And speaking of getting my way...my blood boils when I don't!  There are times I can't help myself. I clench my fists and sometimes bite my arm I get so angry.  And then there are times I can help myself, but it feels so good to let it all out. I throw myself on the ground, flail my arms this way and that, and cry.  I can cry real tears without even needing to now!

But, usually I am happy.  Usually I am laughing and talking and learning new things by copying what everyone around me is doing.  And saying.  There's one word Mama and Daddy don't want me saying.  When I say it they look at each other and then try not to make eye contact with me.  I'm pretty sure this behavior is "ignoring" so I don't say the word again.  (By the way, I heard Daddy say this word.  Mama only says nice things.)

Being a toddler, I seem to be misunderstood a lot.  My intentions are usually pretty great.  I love to help.  I love to clean.  I love to do things on my own.  And it's pretty neat when grown ups understand this about me.  It's fun to make them laugh and smile and kiss and hug and tell me they're proud of me and love me no matter what.

Being a toddler.

1 comment:

  1. Really darling post. And a great point of view to remember at times when we parents get so frustrated! :)