Thursday, August 2, 2012

Letter to L: You Belong

Sweet Daughter of Mine,

I naturally begin all my letters to you in that way.  And, I hope and pray, as you grow older you will KNOW, WITHOUT ANY DOUBT, that you are my daughter.  OUR DAUGHTER.  You were actually conceived out of love between your daddy and me.

You have never been our second choice.  You have never been a last resort.   You came to us in a different way than traditionally happens when mommies and daddies want to have a family, but YOU are PERFECT in this FAMILY.  We chose you and anticipated your arrival with the same love and anticipation that every loving mama and daddy experience.  We went through hell and back, as many expectant parents do, awaiting your arrival, our only wish being you'd be with us sooner.

I fear what others will say to you about your place in our family.  What little girls will say when they're mad at you, or jealous, or just being girls.  I fear what you may overhear said to your Daddy or me by our friends, family, or acquaintances.  And I hope, with everything in me, that no matter what you hear, no matter what anyone else assumes or thinks, that you never question OUR LOVE FOR YOU by our actions.  It's my deepest desire that you'll know that YOU BELONG TO US, not because you have the same nose, eye color or hair texture, but because YOU ARE LOVED beyond measure and because we PRAYED for YOU. Before you came to us, when we pictured our daughter, she had kinky hair and dark skin.  She didn't match my pale face and blue eyes.  She was little, but mighty in personality.  And SHE IS YOU.

I want you to live in the security that we WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. There is no child, not one who could've come from my tummy, not a boy, not anyone from a different nation, who would give us more laughter, joy, purpose and fulfillment as YOU. You, my dear, are OUR firstborn, and we can't imagine this life right now without you.

We are not missing out.  We are not in lack.  There isn't a hole in our lives. We do not need a baby of "our own," because you are OUR OWN.  You - my sweet, spunky, spitfire, smart daughter - are OURS. The magnitude of that truth overwhelms me with joy.

Everything in me loves everything in you.

Your daddy loves you and wants to protect you more than one can imagine.

You belong to us.  And we belong to you.