An Emergency in Korah

If you've read my posts about our visits to Korah, you'll understand why this news is devastating. Please consider helping. Please.

------ Original Message ------

From: Adoption Ministry 1:27
To: Rachel Robuck
Sent: December 18, 2014 at 5:20 PM
Subject: An Emergency in Korah

An emergency has arisen in Korah, one of our AM 1:27 project areas and we'd like to give all of our sponsors an opportunity to help. This huge make-shift community at the dump in Addis Ababa is made up of 'homes' that are often nothing more than sticks and tarps. Last week, the government came in with bulldozers and destroyed over 100 dwellings because they were illegally erected. All personal belongings were also buried in the rubble. We have already let the AM 1:27 sponsors know if the family they support was displaced. These families are now homeless and without even the most basic necessities. We want to get them permanently relocated with rent, new cooking utensils, sets of clothes, shoes and food for 2 weeks. We can use some funds we've received for emergency situations through our Gift Catalog but it is not enough to cover the cost to do what is needed. Fifty dollars can help one family relocate but whatever you can contribute will be added to what we can send from our emergency funds. Please prayerfully consider how you might help. Share this need on social media. And if you have friends and family who might like to help, this can be done on our Send Help webpage, designating "Help for Displaced Families in Korah". We need to send help no later than Monday, December 22nd so please visit our webpage as soon as possible! Thank you so much for your prayers for these many, many families who went from poverty to destitution in a few hours last week.      ©2014 Adoption Ministry of YWAM | PO Box 1145 | Puyallup, WA 98371 Web Version  Preferences  Forward  Unsubscribe  Powered by Mad Mimi ®

Letter to Friends and Family

Dear Friends and Family,

Ty and I are so grateful for your love and support during the adoption of our son.  We are so thrilled to bring Jace home!  Ty is leaving this Saturday and they will be home next Friday, September 5.  I will remain home with Lainey, and our close friend, Brian, graciously agreed to travel with Ty.  (We are calling him Ty’s caddy.) :)

Because it has been a couple years since we brought Lainey home and international adoption is not a common occurrence, we thought it would be helpful to give you an idea about what the next month or so will look like for our family.

If you put yourself in Jace’s little shoes for a moment, you can imagine how difficult this transition may be for him.  Though a joyous celebration for us, to Jace we represent yet one more separation from caregivers.  In his 16 month life, he has been separated from his birthparent(s) and nannies who loved and cared for him in two different orphanages.  

Coming home, he will experience a whole host of stimuli he has never experienced before, including strange people, an unrecognizable language, unknown foods, and a dog! 

We will be doing everything we can to ease this transition for Jace.  We plan to significantly simplify and slow down our pace of life during the next several weeks.  We will not be having people over for extended times or be out and about very often. We welcome brief visits - we are excited to introduce our friends to our son! - but please drop us a text or call first.

We will be “cocooning” at home in order to form healthy bonding that is crucial for Jace’s development.  Because Jace has experienced multiple caregivers in his short life, he has not learned the concept of “Mama and Daddy.”  We want to teach him that we, his family, are different than other caretakers who came in and out of his life. To this end, Ty, Lainey and I will be the only ones who hold, snuggle, feed, change, soothe, or otherwise care for Jace for several weeks.  Please know that we mean no offense if we ask you to refrain from holding or hugging or giving Jace a snack. 

We have been so blessed by the love and kindness our friends have always shown Lainey.  She, also, will be transitioning. Lainey is certainly social and loves her friends, and it is our goal to balance the fostering of those relationships with, as much as reasonable, including her in the cocooning process. When you see us, we would be so grateful if you continue to show her the same interest and attention you’ve shown in the past.  She will likely appreciate conversation and questions that do not center solely around the arrival of her brother.

Please, if you have any questions about all this, feel free to ask!

Finally, thank you for praying for Ty and Brian as they travel - that their journey is safe and without complication - and for Jace - that God gives him peace and contentment with his Daddy.  Thank you for praying for us girls - Lainey and me - while we prepare for Jace’s homecoming. The best gift you can give us is one of prayer.  We also welcome your encouraging words and patience.  We trust that God has chosen Jace for us and he will continue to guide us as we learn what it is to be a family of FOUR!

Sincerely,

Ty and Rachel 

Parenting out of Fear

Inconsolable Tears.  Tantrums.  Self Pity.  Lack of Confidence.  Lack of Self Control.  Doubt. And most of all, Fear.

And those are just my emotions.

Our sweet, smart, happy three year old is struggling.  Hitting, kicking, screeching, clawing, throwing, etc.  These past weeks in our house have been as close to hell on earth that I can imagine.  I don't use that term lightly.  Knowing that there are many people in worse predicaments than we are in, I feel a little shame admitting to feeling this way.  But seriously.  I've never felt so hopeless, out of control, depressed, anxious or fearful in my life.

How can I blame my daughter for her behaviors that are directly mimicking my own emotions?  God is not-so-subtly revealing to me that I am parenting out of fear rather than faith. 

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." ~Isaiah 41:13

Fear of Losing Control
I so long to be in control.  In control of my finances, my eating habits, my marriage, my household, and, most importantly, my daughter's behavior.  Well, there is nothing like a three year old's behavior to prove that I am not in control.  No matter how rigid, strict, structured and legalistic I aim to be, I absolutely cannot be in control.  My daughter can choose to eat or not eat, sleep or not sleep, be calm or scream at the top of her lungs, hug me or hit me, and there is not a single thing I can do to change a decision that she has already made.  The punitive measures I have used as consequences do absolutely nothing to teach her.  They are only my attempt to feign control, thus instilling further fear in my daughter.  I am ashamed.

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:4-7

Fear of Losing Face
I long for my daughter to be the most disciplined, best behaved and advanced child on the block.   My friends will read this and cringe.  (Give me grace, friends, I beg you.)  Truth is, I want people to look at her and see what an amazing parent I am.  What is wrong with me?  I now realize it is more important Lainey possess Godly traits such as peace, self control, Godly confidence, empathy and forgiveness.  How will she learn these if I am not modeling them? If instead I am modeling impatience and arrogance?

"There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love" ~1 John 4:18

Fear of the Future
Daily, I concern myself with how Lainey will be when she is a teen.  I've convinced myself if I don't teach her to respect authority NOW, she will grow up to be a terror.  To that end, I've adopted an authoritarian parenting style rather than attempting to understand her.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." ~Matthew 6:34a

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." ~ Psalm 55:22

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11

Fear of Losing Myself
I am so selfish.  I frequently put my own sleep, time, hobbies, desires before the emotional needs of my daughter.  Oh, I justify it:  "This will teach her independence." or "It is good for her to learn it isn't about her all the time."

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." ~Philippians 2:3-4

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." ~John 14:27

My sweet daughter.  I'm afraid I owe her BIG.  Because of my fear, we both have healing and misconceptions to overcome.  We need God.  I can only overcome this fear by giving up control, my image, the future and my desires to him.  And what a relief it is to turn it all over to him!  What an amazing God that He will still take me and love me in spite of my weakness.

I cannot raise Lainey the way she deserves without God's grace and guidance.  With this realization, I am filled with excitement, rather than fear, about the good works God will work in Lainey.  I am humbled with honor to be tasked to raise her.  God chose her for me and I will give him my love and trust in return.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." 1 Corinthians 5:17

The Ins and Outs of December '13 - July '14

Photo Drop! In no particular order because sequencing 102 photos on blogger just isn't easy.

Birthday parties, Christmas parties, family getaways and friend vacations.  Plus, the daily grind: doctor appointments, play dates, dress up, 7 Seas Brewery, and story-time (Lainey is the teacher, naturally.