Friday, August 29, 2014

Letter to Friends and Family

Dear Friends and Family,

Ty and I are so grateful for your love and support during the adoption of our son.  We are so thrilled to bring Jace home!  Ty is leaving this Saturday and they will be home next Friday, September 5.  I will remain home with Lainey, and our close friend, Brian, graciously agreed to travel with Ty.  (We are calling him Ty’s caddy.) :)

Because it has been a couple years since we brought Lainey home and international adoption is not a common occurrence, we thought it would be helpful to give you an idea about what the next month or so will look like for our family.

If you put yourself in Jace’s little shoes for a moment, you can imagine how difficult this transition may be for him.  Though a joyous celebration for us, to Jace we represent yet one more separation from caregivers.  In his 16 month life, he has been separated from his birthparent(s) and nannies who loved and cared for him in two different orphanages.  
Coming home, he will experience a whole host of stimuli he has never experienced before, including strange people, an unrecognizable language, unknown foods, and a dog! 

We will be doing everything we can to ease this transition for Jace.  We plan to significantly simplify and slow down our pace of life during the next several weeks.  We will not be having people over for extended times or be out and about very often. We welcome brief visits - we are excited to introduce our friends to our son! - but please drop us a text or call first.

We will be “cocooning” at home in order to form healthy bonding that is crucial for Jace’s development.  Because Jace has experienced multiple caregivers in his short life, he has not learned the concept of “Mama and Daddy.”  We want to teach him that we, his family, are different than other caretakers who came in and out of his life. To this end, Ty, Lainey and I will be the only ones who hold, snuggle, feed, change, soothe, or otherwise care for Jace for several weeks.  Please know that we mean no offense if we ask you to refrain from holding or hugging or giving Jace a snack. 

We have been so blessed by the love and kindness our friends have always shown Lainey.  She, also, will be transitioning. Lainey is certainly social and loves her friends, and it is our goal to balance the fostering of those relationships with, as much as reasonable, including her in the cocooning process. When you see us, we would be so grateful if you continue to show her the same interest and attention you’ve shown in the past.  She will likely appreciate conversation and questions that do not center solely around the arrival of her brother.

Please, if you have any questions about all this, feel free to ask!

Finally, thank you for praying for Ty and Brian as they travel - that their journey is safe and without complication - and for Jace - that God gives him peace and contentment with his Daddy.  Thank you for praying for us girls - Lainey and me - while we prepare for Jace’s homecoming. The best gift you can give us is one of prayer.  We also welcome your encouraging words and patience.  We trust that God has chosen Jace for us and he will continue to guide us as we learn what it is to be a family of FOUR!


Ty and Rachel 

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